Does God Just Want Me to Be Happy?

by Shane Pruitt

My wife, Kasi, and I became fully involved in counseling a couple whose marriage was breaking down; we spent hours praying for them. We tried everything we knew to help save their marriage. I talked and cried with the husband, and Kasi talked and cried with the wife, who wanted to leave. Kasi would plead, “Think of your family. Think of your baby. And, most importantly, think of your relationship with your heavenly Father.” I’ll never forget the night Kasi came home after spending a couple of hours with the wife. My beautiful, normally glowing bride looked completely dejected and exhausted; she said, “Shane, it’s over. She is leaving him.” I was confused and heartbroken for our friends. I had believed there was hope. I replied, “Kasi, what do you mean it’s over? Are you certain? How do you know?” I’ll never forget Kasi’s reply: “I know because of what she said” . . . she said, “I know that God just wants me to be happy!” And there it was. The statement that is always the card people play when they want to justify their actions. The statement that is always the excuse people give for ignoring what the Scriptures have to say about their particular breach of ethics: “God just wants me to be happy.”

Here are some questions that we all must settle for ourselves – Is our happiness really the determining factor for everything? Is happiness really the greatest good in the world? Statements like “Happy wife, happy life” and “The ultimate goal of life is the pursuit of happiness” have been staples in our society for as long as I can remember. But is that what God’s main priority for our lives is—to just be happy?

God Is Not a Genie

It’s a common belief that God exists to be our “personal genie,” waiting to give us our every wish, desire or validation for our feelings. It’s amazing how we will wear ourselves to exhaustion or destroy the world around us by trying to pursue an elusive state of happiness. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-happy. I’m a big fan of healthy happiness. What I’m talking about is the world’s definition of happiness, or even more relevant to each of us, our own view of happiness. The world’s idea of happiness is directly tied to circumstances. If our circumstances are favorable, then we’re happy. If not, then we’re not.

But here’s the deal. Our circumstances change all the time. Many of us allow these vacillating circumstances to dictate our happiness. It’s an extremely dangerous scenario when outward forces control our inward feelings. If we’re pursuing that kind of happiness, we’ll end up in a ditch of resentment and regret. It’s this elusive lie, like greener pastures or plastic frogs, that lure us away from God’s best, eventually hooking us into a fight for our very lives. And we find ourselves stuck or hooked just steps before becoming miserable and depressed (not happy).

What if God desires more for us than happiness? Is it possible that in the pursuit of happiness, we’re completely missing God Himself? After all, He is the only One who can truly make us happy. Does God have something more in store for you and me than just happiness? Okay, here’s the answer to those questions. Three little letters: J-O-Y. God desires that you and I experience joy, that settled state of contentment, confidence, and hope that comes only from trusting Him. Sadly though, we often miss it because we’re too busy chasing happiness. Here are three definitive biblical truths that explain why joy is greater than happiness.

Joy Is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit

Joy is the second fruit of the Holy Spirit listed in Galatians 5: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy . . .” (verse 22). In the Bible, fruit is a symbol of character. The list of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in Galatians 5 is a list of characteristics that should naturally flow out of Christians’ lives when they have God inside them. One of the most distinct markers that the Spirit of God dwells in you is the presence of joy in your life. If you have the Spirit, you will have joy! This is one of the fundamental differences between biblical joy and worldly happiness. We attempt to find happiness from favorable circumstances, but we receive joy only as a gift from the favorable God. Happiness comes and goes as circumstances and feelings change. Joy, however, is here to stay.

Joy is Not Based on Circumstances, It’s Based on Jesus

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